The important lessons 2017 has taught me.

20-Lessons-Learned-in-20-Years-of-Life

As 2017 comes to a close many of us take time to reflect upon the year. The could have’s, the should have’s and the would have’s.

I for one am not a reflector of note, however sometimes it is good to see where you went wrong (or right) and how to improve from there on out.

2017 has been a ridiculously tough one! However there are always lessons to take from the tough times 🙂

“‎Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning… Anyone can start over and make a new ending.” 
― Chico Xavier

Nobody REALLY knows your story

And nor do you really know theirs. Be kind, always. Don’t judge if you can help it – we are all doing the very best we can and we all have our troubles to face when we turn out the lights at night. If you can start each day seeing everyone without judgement and with fresh eyes, you will make decisions that come from the heart.

Good friends are measured by quality not quantity.

I have always been an amenable individual. I have also found that people tend to be drawn to me because I generally project an energy that rarely is projected these days.

However, the sad reality is that people are not always there for as you are for them. Its as honest as that, thus taking me back to the notion of appreciating quality over quantity.

Friendship is not measured by how many people are wanting to be around you ALL THE TIME, but it is measured by the meaningful, genuine and compassionate people you choose to keep company with; those are the people you need to get through the TOUGH STUFF.

Every person is fighting their own battle.

Be kind. that’s all.

Oftentimes the TOUGH STUFF, brings us down and may keep us there to a point where seemingly it seems there is no return.

In all honesty, everyone is going through something difficult. It really costs nothing to simply just “Be there” for someone who may not even know that they need it at that point in time.

Some people will hate every part of you.

But others will LOVE every part of you -so whose really winning?  If you are loved by everyone, it means you’re doing SOMETHING wrong. So in essence, all we should do in instances as such is to accept things and move on.

It’s okay to take time out.

Sometimes we need to recuperate. I literally feel exhausted after a day of being fully energised (Someone call the fun police). Interacting with people all day and taking the time to ensure that everyone is okay should be considered a job.

However it is easy to get engulfed in a routine as such. With that, oftentimes you have to remind yourself that you matter too, that its okay to take time out and take a “chill pill”, just to metaphorically keep all of your marbles in tact.

Everybody you come across probably wants the same thing in life.

And whats that? Pure and utter happiness. It is as simple and as complicated as that.

Relationships can be dumb and stupid

Generally, I think that in this aspect it is where you learn SO much about yourself. You experience so much, so fast that sometimes you’re not even aware about what is happening around you. Sometimes you’re oblivious to the bullshit but if you’re not? Kudos to you! So in essence, some people are over and above a waste of time and effort (and space) for no logical reason.  But eventually you’ll realise that it ultimately taught you a lesson and you can dust yourself off from the mess they left behind.

…more importantly though;

LOVE. Love love Everything around you. 

Always let your heart SWELL with love and gratitude even when the whole world is falling apart. Feel for those who can’t feel. Love strangers. Don’t become desensitized & MOST importantly love yourself.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

The death of conversation.

Living in the age of technology and convenience, it’s easy to become accustomed and dependent on the excessive usage of our smartphones, devices, tablets and such with that being said, we have invested our time in communicating so much differently in contrast to how we would have ten plus years ago.

Understandably so, we use various sorts of technology as a means of communicating far more efficiently than in earlier times, and why not? It’s convenient, it’s easy and you get on about your day! 
However, is it safe to say that this entire concept has resulted in us not REALLY communicating efficiently as we used to when technology wasn’t really a nearly important “thing”?

Furthermore Im not at liberty to shun the idea or the perusal of technology specifically, as I too depend on it for various reasons or to simply “get things done” efficiently; however, it still does not obliviate the fact that our devices facilitate our lives, and quite frankly I believe it is making people seriously dull…

It seems as though we are all equally guilty of being really keen on connecting with the world to a point where we fail to connect with those who are most important to us, at that exact particular point in time.
It’s become such a normality to document EVERYTHING that we lose sight of the bigger picture, that is admiration and pure enjoyment of the moment.
With that being said, social interactions has gotten to a point where we’re publicising whatever it is we’re doing at the time rather than actually “being there” and thoroughly enjoying the present moment. 

All-in-all: conversation my people; is the initiation of hopes, dreams, appreciation and the instance of just being present; it’s as simple and as complicated as that. I mean, who wouldn’t find enjoyment in that? If anything I personally think that engaging in a meaningful and fruitful important conversation is a delight! And equally stimulating as well. 

These guys said it best:

The most fruitful and natural exercise for our minds is, in my opinion, conversation. -Michel de Montaigne

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet. -Truman Capote

This is a really interesting topic of discussion! Below find a really endearing and informative article by James Butler:

Has technology killed our ability to have a face-to-face conversation?

Be kind to yourself & others.

20171016_012946.png

No one teaches you to be kind to yourself -regardless of how important that actually is.
We spend most if not all of our time by ourselves, and being in a good or bad space in essense paves the way for how we treat ourselves.
Taking it upon myself, people go through various things on a daily basis, facing things we get thrown with when it is least expected.
This makes everyones experience or definition of being kind to oneself -different.
But nonetheless, the way in which you are kind to yourself does not make it better or worse than anothers’.
What I can advise is this:

Do things that calms the storms within- even if it means people do not agree with your method. Do what works for you!
Embrace change. Although everyone does not exactly enjoy change, at times it is painful BUT may be rewarding in the end.
Do things for you and you only. Yes, its totally okay to be selfish sometimes! Especially when things are being done for yourself, to better or enhance the person you are; make the time to do so.

Be sensitive though. Everyone does not deal with thing the same way as you do, its important to be sensitive to the feelings of those around you. Its a blessing to be kind to the next person -you do not know what battle they may be facing.

From the top of my head, being kind is not always easy. Whether it be to yourself or the people you are surrounded by. What is important to note though is that as long as we TRY to be kind, the world automatically becomes a better more bearable place.

Upon thinking about the importance on kindness, and researching what everyone elses perception or stance on it is I came across this beautiful poem by Naomi Shihab Nye which I thought may be worth the share:

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoe
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.”
Whatever you do, be kind; ALWAYS

To fail or NOT to fail.

wellshityoutried-225x300

What are the chances of failing when you prepare well more often than not? If perhaps you have all of the required resources available to succeed? Zero, right? The problem with constantly surpassing expectations, and thriving is that by design you are NOT allowed to be unsuccessful in anything which you intend to pursue.

In a society whereby you are required to spiral upward without slipping, it becomes exhausting to always be positive; to be looking over your shoulder constantly and not be discouraged in the event that you do not succeed within the first attempt of wanting to get a task done.

Naturally, when one works hard, and does what is required of oneself, success generally follows, or rather that’s what the “work hard+do what you have to do” equation –amounts to. However believing what I believe, when something is meant for you, you would get it when you were intended to at that EXACT point in time, regardless of what the universe throws at you and in contrast, when something is not meant for you, well then that’s just that –it wouldn’t reach you even if its staring you in the face and there are no obstacles in the vicinity.

Some of the greatest influencers of the world reminds us that:

If one does not fail at times, then he has not challenged himself- Ferdinand Porsche

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time –Leo Tolstoy

Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes our courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave –Mary Tyler Moore

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks –Mark Zuckerberg

Over and above all, the lesson that may be taken from all of these “wise words” is that after failure, one prepares better, thinks better so that we may do better. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with failing the first ten times, what matter is that with perseverance and will power you may do whatever you set your mind to.

As Robert Schuller stresses, I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed, with that being said, it’s better to consistently work on yourself, your growth, thought processes and the way in which you adapt and work with your circumstances and challenges which would overall improve the way in which you do things so that you may improve yourself both mentally and pragmatically.

 

 

 

The search for EVERYTHING 🌌

A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.

Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest.

Somehow, we’ll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.” -Brandon Sanderson

I came across a quote by Robert A. Heinlein -which goes as follows “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something”, which i found completely hilarious! But simultaneously relatable.

Ultimately, when on the search for a sense of self fulfilment, spirituality, contentment or absolute peace -the one thing to always bare in mind is that our thoughts and actions play a major role in where we end up.
What you think you become, and your actions define you in the end.

This is not meant to sound philosophical; but in all honesty deciding to progress and grow in which ever intended way, the decision to do so is the first step to ultimate success.

#MondayMotivation -with a touch of spice 

Need I say more? 

A wise friend of mine once told me; in fact he always tells me this matter-of-factly;

If you look good -you feel good

If you feel good -you do good

And if you do good -you are good.

So there, adjust those crowns and be the best person you can be. 

Because in all honesty i think those words are one of the greatest philosophies to live by. 

Happy Monday! 🙌

Remember – You matter too 🌸

More often than not, we get told “cheer up” “it will get better” “keep the faith” and the most chanted “what you project unto the universe is what you retrieve from it” -well yeah all of that is sort of true but what happens when you lose all of that faith? Or if things does not immediately “get better”? 

We get told to suck it up. And the harsh reality is that sucking it up would probably be the best and smart thing to do… because ultimately negative vibes often fester and develops into something way more unnecesary and a waste of time.

So before we lose our marbles to a point of no return… and quite frankly im really close to losing them -lets keep the following in mind when on the verge of throwing in the towel: 

Treat yourself like you’re worthy right now, even if you don’t believe it.
As said in my previous article, hey! You are doing the best that you possibly can kid! 

So go ahead and make yourself feel worthy of the simple things in life. Whether this includes taking care of your body, by eating a healthy diet and exercising or dancing around the house with nothing but socks and an oversized t-shirt.

We have to engage in taking action and having a hand in achieving our dreams. By following our dreams, we contribute to creating a beautiful world.

And quite frankly -who wouldnt want the world to be anything but a beautiful place? So go on! Spread some of that sparkle  🙌

Surround yourself with positive people who love themselves and who treat you with love and respect.
I have learnt that wherever you go, regardless of the circumstances we as the human species -we best learn by observation. If we observe people who love themselves and who love and respect the people around them, we learn how to do the same.

WHEN you remove the negative apples growing in your garden GUESS WHAT? it no longer will follow you around.

Make it a point to reduce or eliminate the amount of toxins you ingest and the amount of time you spend with toxic people. By being around positive loving people, we come to believe that we’re worthy of love and respect.

Forgive others but MOST of all save some forgiveness for yourself. 
The act of forgiving does not ideally mean that you are accepting that others treat you badly nor does it mean that you should tolerate and continue spending time and energy on someone who treats you terribly. Ultimately forgiveness is for you. It’s about letting go of the pain, liberating your self from the heaviness of holding a grudge. Furthermore, in order to love yourself, you need to forgive yourself for choices you’ve made. Simply, make the decision to try to do better every day.

Like Oprah once said (do not ask me when, where, how or why she said it… but trust me she said it!) It goes… 

“Being good to yourself doesn’t have to include a calendar full of luxury spa treatments (though who are we to judge?). It simply means treating yourself as well as you’d treat a friend.

And I couldnt agree more! Find what works for you! Whether you enjoy running in the rain and letting your hair down, Or whether you simply just enjoy having a lazy day in with an amazing book and really warm fuzzy socks like I do? Either or… do what makes you feel like the best version of you…  ❤🌻