Be kind to yourself & others.

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No one teaches you to be kind to yourself -regardless of how important that actually is.
We spend most if not all of our time by ourselves, and being in a good or bad space in essense paves the way for how we treat ourselves.
Taking it upon myself, people go through various things on a daily basis, facing things we get thrown with when it is least expected.
This makes everyones experience or definition of being kind to oneself -different.
But nonetheless, the way in which you are kind to yourself does not make it better or worse than anothers’.
What I can advise is this:

Do things that calms the storms within- even if it means people do not agree with your method. Do what works for you!
Embrace change. Although everyone does not exactly enjoy change, at times it is painful BUT may be rewarding in the end.
Do things for you and you only. Yes, its totally okay to be selfish sometimes! Especially when things are being done for yourself, to better or enhance the person you are; make the time to do so.

Be sensitive though. Everyone does not deal with thing the same way as you do, its important to be sensitive to the feelings of those around you. Its a blessing to be kind to the next person -you do not know what battle they may be facing.

From the top of my head, being kind is not always easy. Whether it be to yourself or the people you are surrounded by. What is important to note though is that as long as we TRY to be kind, the world automatically becomes a better more bearable place.

Upon thinking about the importance on kindness, and researching what everyone elses perception or stance on it is I came across this beautiful poem by Naomi Shihab Nye which I thought may be worth the share:

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoe
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.”
Whatever you do, be kind; ALWAYS

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To fail or NOT to fail.

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What are the chances of failing when you prepare well more often than not? If perhaps you have all of the required resources available to succeed? Zero, right? The problem with constantly surpassing expectations, and thriving is that by design you are NOT allowed to be unsuccessful in anything which you intend to pursue.

In a society whereby you are required to spiral upward without slipping, it becomes exhausting to always be positive; to be looking over your shoulder constantly and not be discouraged in the event that you do not succeed within the first attempt of wanting to get a task done.

Naturally, when one works hard, and does what is required of oneself, success generally follows, or rather that’s what the “work hard+do what you have to do” equation –amounts to. However believing what I believe, when something is meant for you, you would get it when you were intended to at that EXACT point in time, regardless of what the universe throws at you and in contrast, when something is not meant for you, well then that’s just that –it wouldn’t reach you even if its staring you in the face and there are no obstacles in the vicinity.

Some of the greatest influencers of the world reminds us that:

If one does not fail at times, then he has not challenged himself- Ferdinand Porsche

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time –Leo Tolstoy

Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes our courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave –Mary Tyler Moore

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks –Mark Zuckerberg

Over and above all, the lesson that may be taken from all of these “wise words” is that after failure, one prepares better, thinks better so that we may do better. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with failing the first ten times, what matter is that with perseverance and will power you may do whatever you set your mind to.

As Robert Schuller stresses, I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed, with that being said, it’s better to consistently work on yourself, your growth, thought processes and the way in which you adapt and work with your circumstances and challenges which would overall improve the way in which you do things so that you may improve yourself both mentally and pragmatically.

 

 

 

The search for EVERYTHING 🌌

A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.

Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest.

Somehow, we’ll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.” -Brandon Sanderson

I came across a quote by Robert A. Heinlein -which goes as follows “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something”, which i found completely hilarious! But simultaneously relatable.

Ultimately, when on the search for a sense of self fulfilment, spirituality, contentment or absolute peace -the one thing to always bare in mind is that our thoughts and actions play a major role in where we end up.
What you think you become, and your actions define you in the end.

This is not meant to sound philosophical; but in all honesty deciding to progress and grow in which ever intended way, the decision to do so is the first step to ultimate success.

#MondayMotivation -with a touch of spice 

Need i say more? 

A wise friend of mine once told me; in fact he always tells me this matter-of-factly;

If you look good -you feel good

If you feel good -you do good

And if you do good -you are good.

So there, adjust those crowns and be the best person you can be. 

Because in all honesty i think those words are one of the greatest philosophies to live by. 

Happy Monday! 🙌

Remember – You matter too 🌸

More often than not, we get told “cheer up” “it will get better” “keep the faith” and the most chanted “what you project unto the universe is what you retrieve from it” -well yeah all of that is sort of true but what happens when you lose all of that faith? Or if things does not immediately “get better”? 

We get told to suck it up. And the harsh reality is that sucking it up would probably be the best and smart thing to do… because ultimately negative vibes often fester and develops into something way more unnecesary and a waste of time.

So before we lose our marbles to a point of no return… and quite frankly im really close to losing them -lets keep the following in mind when on the verge of throwing in the towel: 

Treat yourself like you’re worthy right now, even if you don’t believe it.
As said in my previous article, hey! You are doing the best that you possibly can kid! 

So go ahead and make yourself feel worthy of the simple things in life. Whether this includes taking care of your body, by eating a healthy diet and exercising or dancing around the house with nothing but socks and an oversized t-shirt.

We have to engage in taking action and having a hand in achieving our dreams. By following our dreams, we contribute to creating a beautiful world.

And quite frankly -who wouldnt want the world to be anything but a beautiful place? So go on! Spread some of that sparkle  🙌

Surround yourself with positive people who love themselves and who treat you with love and respect.
I have learnt that wherever you go, regardless of the circumstances we as the human species -we best learn by observation. If we observe people who love themselves and who love and respect the people around them, we learn how to do the same.

WHEN you remove the negative apples growing in your garden GUESS WHAT? it no longer will follow you around.

Make it a point to reduce or eliminate the amount of toxins you ingest and the amount of time you spend with toxic people. By being around positive loving people, we come to believe that we’re worthy of love and respect.

Forgive others but MOST of all save some forgiveness for yourself. 
The act of forgiving does not ideally mean that you are accepting that others treat you badly nor does it mean that you should tolerate and continue spending time and energy on someone who treats you terribly. Ultimately forgiveness is for you. It’s about letting go of the pain, liberating your self from the heaviness of holding a grudge. Furthermore, in order to love yourself, you need to forgive yourself for choices you’ve made. Simply, make the decision to try to do better every day.

Like Oprah once said (do not ask me when, where, how or why she said it… but trust me she said it!) It goes… 

“Being good to yourself doesn’t have to include a calendar full of luxury spa treatments (though who are we to judge?). It simply means treating yourself as well as you’d treat a friend.

And I couldnt agree more! Find what works for you! Whether you enjoy running in the rain and letting your hair down, Or whether you simply just enjoy having a lazy day in with an amazing book and really warm fuzzy socks like I do? Either or… do what makes you feel like the best version of you…  ❤🌻

You’re doing the best you can.

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The great Brad Gast once said: No matter what happens, no matter how far you seem to be away from where you want to be, never stop believing that you will make it. Have an unrelenting belief that things will work out, that the long road has a purpose, that the things that you may desire may not happen today, but they will happen. Continue to persist and persevere he says.

We are often too hard on ourselves. Ridiculously so. We hardly even pay any mind to it…

When we are in tricky and uncomfortable situations or seeing ourselves as being in a bit of a pickle due to the relentless bullshit life seems to absolutely enjoy throwing at as, the words “stay positive” “better things are coming” or even the famous “good things come to those who wait” are thrown in the air and BOOM! everything is expectant to just ease up, fall into place and off we go. Right enough, those things are absolutely correct given the circumstance but ultimately the issue at hand is still causing worry and hovering and reminding us about it.

-So when you’re having a terrible day say “Hey I’m doing the best I can”

-If you meet or bump into someone and they’re having a bad day say “Hey, everything will work out justt fine, watch”

Do things that make you happy, or excites you… don’t deny yourself the simple pleasure that life has to offer 🙂

The photograph attached was when I myself was oblivious to it all life, love, disappointments and misfortune… that was exactly a year ago and boy can I just say? Things have gotten worse (and i hope that the humour was found in that statement).

But ultimately, the battle I choose to dwell in made me more headstrong, the disappointments encouraged me to always do better, no exceptions! And the misfortunes was a means of having to improve and not sulk when things go all the way to the South of France,

But know this the goal and ultimate key to a blissfully happy life, is to LOVE yourself,(the messy you, the extremely fatigued you, the perfect patty you, the too smart for my own good you) because no one will do that for you the way you need other than you would, Then in the end everything works out perfectly that way.

 

 

 

 

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Professional qualifications they say… is the way to success! Escape the mere thought of poverty by seeking knowledge in any way you are able to!

Well personally I agree with seeking knowledge from the cradle to the grave but the most important and crucial fine detail that is more often than not taken into consideration is that it actually costs money to do so, and LOTS of it.

So here I am, an alumni… who possesses a Higher certificate in Economic Development as well as a Bachelor of Arts degree in English, Psychology AND Sociology minding my own business… and going about my day… blogging… screaming internally and subtly shitting myself.

So! I have experienced the entire graduation ordeal and everything that leads up to the event. Planning my outfit and shoes for the exciting day! The smug “I did it, I managed to scrape through and get a degree” attitude for game day and feeling a sense of accomplishment because WHAT!! I’m getting a degree today 🙌 a piece of paper made up of three years of my sanity.

But alas…

Sitting in the Graduation hall waiting for my name to get called (which the Dean mispronounced might I add) and then having my degree confferred upon me, Aah good times. I swear that has been the most satisfactory thing I have experienced thus far.

Eventually, the conferring of degrees concluded random people asking you whether you have managed to have graduated with a CUM LAUDE, (am I allowed to laugh at you? MOVE!!!) as well as the celebrations thereof.

However, heres the harsh reality about what they dont tell you AFTER graduating:

You probably wont be employed exactly after you have graduated

Yes. Job hunting seems FUN and EXCITING until you have had to just disregard a job post because these people want 15 years job experience! HOW!? between my back to back lectures and my compulsory tutorials as well as my weekend job which practically didnt even compensate remotely for my textbooks and setworks! Where in hell does one have the time and mental strength to have attained that amount of experience? Really people! COME ONNNN.

Cash Flow? 

Aah yes! My second favorite word starting with a C after the word cupcake.

I dont care how many people say that they have studied further to become more wise and smarter and to see the world more clearly, at some point if its not the initial point -wheres the money at though?

In all honestly I assumed that I would be living the dream by now…. reaping the benefits of said degree which I have spent 3 tiring years of my life on -but boy was I WRONG!! INSTEAD I’m out here worrying my ASS off about how and when exactly the debt collectors will come knocking at my door due to me being NECK DEEP in student debt (NSFAS keep calm player).

Which then almost immediately raises the question, when exactly do I get to actually without a sense of worry get to enjoy the money I have studied long and hard for? (which consequently I am NOT yet earning) that pipe dream is yet to be annouced!

The constitution of marriage, could you save me PERHAPS? 

In your twenties, well in mine particularly I feel slightly worried that I have not caught the marriage and intense commitment fever as yet.

Which makes me wonder whether I should maybe invest in one? You know? For financial security like they did in the Rennaisance period where they promoted convenience and obedience as the constitution of marriage, afterall… that were the ultimate and true callings of women back then… to wed and go about their day.

But I do however believe that the guy who gets to marry me has his work cut out for him. I mean im definitely going to be bragging about my degree and complaining about my student debt the first year of our marriage and even then im wondering whether I would be employed and actually then will be getting my moneys worth for the degree that I have.

The art of socializing

Remember when you could use the “oh no, I cant hang out buddy… I have those tests and an early lecture every day of the week” card to get out of socializing when you were in university?

SIKE!! It’s real life now and you sort of have to develop into a beautiful social butterfly which ultimately means you actually have to go out and about and do actual things with actual people.

Now, theres nothing wrong with that… but with the hours which I happen to work (17:00 – 4:00) no, no I’m even not joking!! It’s a bit difficult for people to understand that you would rather opt for a chilled night in watching series you probably have already watched because you don’t want to feel like the boring individual you have become due to the hecticness (is this a word?) of life.